Tears From a Dad: Part One

I am not the only one to ever shed a tear for their child. I know parents shed tears over their kids for numerous things: health, future, love, acceptance. It is also apparent that many people have been fortunate enough to not have lost anyone too close to them. That was me just 4 years ago. Sensitivity has gripped my mind in a very personal way. I witnessed my wife lose a father. Two of my grandparents have returned to the one who created and redeemed them. My siblings, parents and I have gone through some very intense relational difficulties, so much so that the alienation that pervades our family has left us toiling under our own burdens without the support of those who should be our biggest supporters and allies.

What could be so important that we cannot or will not love the precious life that flows through our families veins? How is the breathe of a brother or sister not just as precious as the breathe we all pray for in the life of my son Jax? Is it only possible to pray for him because he has not wronged us in any way?

"Wow Marcus, you are kinda throwing your family under the bus aren't you?"

Maybe, to a certain extent, but just listen to this line from Minister Hooper in the Ministers Black Veil by Nathaniel Hawthorne said seconds before he passed away .

"Why do you tremble at me alone?" cried he, turning his veiled face round the circle of pale spectators. "Tremble also at each other. Have men avoided me, and women shown no pity, and children screamed and fled, only for my black veil? What, but the mystery which it obscurely typifies, has made this piece of crepe so awful? When the friend shows his inmost heart to his friend; the lover to his best beloved; when man does not vainly shrink from the eye of his Creator, loathsomely treasuring up the secret of his sin; then deem me a monster, for the symbol beneath which I have lived, and die! I look around me, and, lo! on every visage a Black Veil."

The minister had lived years beneath a veil, hiding his face. The town people thought there was something wrong with him. That maybe he had some secret guilt or flaw he didn't want them to see. His life was a living illustration to show them that they were all wearing veils over their faces, which were destroying their most important relationships. These "veils" are that which separate our families. "Love conquers all," so what keeps you from your family? We cannot love with a mask on. The mask can be made of pride, anger, unforgiveness, guilt, embarrassment, and jealousy among others.

The more friends I find, the more friends I find whose families suffer. Chances are, you live in such a broken family. No one says we have to love our families unconditionally, but why not? Let me tell you what Jax has taught me as I prepare my heart for Thanksgiving. Many of us are praying for a miracle for Jax. My mother and father are miracles. My brother and sister are miracles. My wife and son are miracles.

I want my son Jax to be healthy so bad that there is nothing he could possibly do that would cause me to not love and have a loving relationship with him. I will forever pray for my family and work toward finding a peace for us all. It has been many years since my family has been together in any capacity. I am hoping through the life of Jax they too, along with you, will find a new love for family. They are a miracle in your life, do not throw them away like trash. My son Jax is priceless. I would give anything to have him in my life for as long as I live. I pray for you the same. That you would change your heart and say you would give anything to have them in your life. Even if it is to remove the mask that separates you. Remember this, a family is a collection of irreplaceable lives. They are priceless. Show them that you know this.

Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone. We all have much to be thankful for, and I hope we don't overlook it.

I am praying for all who read this,

Marcus

From I Corinthiams 13;

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.